


Band Mates, Best Friends, Brothers

by Khylara



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, M/M, Peterick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 05:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12598768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khylara/pseuds/Khylara
Summary: How do you cope when the one you love is with someone else?  Apparently, you did it by standing by the bar drinking champagne while watching the man you loved waltz across the floor with his wife at their wedding reception.





	Band Mates, Best Friends, Brothers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TearCatcher](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TearCatcher/gifts).



> This is for Tumblr's Coastingon-potential, who wrote me a wonderful little snippit using the prompt "How do you cope when the one you love is with somebody else?" Thank you so much - here's one for you! This is also my thoughts on why Pete doesn't touch/hang on Patrick as much as he did before the hiatus. 
> 
> Set during the hiatus - as I don't know whether Meagan is in the picture by now, she's not in this fic.

                                                                                                                 

Pete took a long sip of his champagne, glancing at his watch as he did so.  _Another hour_ , he promised himself. _Make it through one more hour and then you can go._ He heaved a sigh, knowing all too well that he was lying to himself.  He’d stay to the bitter end, until the bride and groom left for their honeymoon, the bar closed and the caterers came in to clean up.  Most important, he’d do it with a smile on his face.  He owed Patrick that much.

How do you cope when the one you love is with someone else?  Apparently, you did it by standing by the bar drinking champagne while watching the man you loved waltz across the floor with his wife at their wedding reception.

_Beautiful_ , Pete thought as Patrick and Elisa danced by, twin smiles on their glowing faces. _They both are.  And perfect together._ Patrick, sleek and confident in his tuxedo and Elisa stunning in her sparkling white dress – both of them looking like something out of a fairy tale.

Images flashed through Pete’s head as he watched.  Patrick standing in front of a mirror, his hands shaking too hard to manage the slippery silk of his bow tie.  Pete had ended up tying it for him before clapping him on the back and calling him Lunchbox.  Patrick lying next to him in bed, his red hair spread out over the pillow and their fingers entwined.  Pete had spent the remainder of the first night they had made love just watching him sleep and marveling about how lucky he was. Patrick yelling at him, hazel eyes flashing with anger, his words harsh and cutting and bitterly cruel.  Pete had yelled back just as loudly, just as cruelly until finally Andy and Joe had to pull them apart.

When had things between them gone so wrong?

_God only knows_ , Pete mused, trying to remember if there had been a decisive moment, a single incident that had led to everything going straight to hell.  Finally, he gave up; there hadn’t been one specific thing.  Just a gradual progression - one thing leading to another leading to another leading to this.

Draining his glass, he put it on the bar and reached for another _.  It was only a matter of time,_ he told himself harshly. _You both knew it.  He was too young and I was too fucking unstable.  It wasn’t ever gonna be rainbows and sunshine and the two of you skipping into the sunset hand in hand._   Pete closed his eyes for a moment, fighting the sting of tears welling up.  _God, though.  God, I fucking wish…_

“Hey.”

Pushing his thoughts ruthlessly aside, Pete turned to see Patrick hovering nearby.  “Hey,” he answered, a little surprised. He hadn’t expected the singer to come find him for anything after the ceremony and giving the toast.  “What’s up? Shouldn’t you be dancing with your bride or getting ready to head to the airport or something?”

“She’s working her way through her cousins and we’re not flying out until tomorrow morning,” Patrick answered.  He cocked his head, a concerned look on his face.  “And I wanted to talk to you.  You okay?” He took a step closer. “You’ve been standing her for quite a while.”

_Don’t ask me that.  I can get through this if you just don’t ask me that._   “Fine,” Pete said, forcing a smile.  “Just watching the world go by and getting drunk on your really good champagne.”

Concern turned skeptical. “Pete.”  Patrick’s tone said everything words couldn’t; he knew Pete was lying and he wanted to know why.

Pete wasn’t about to give in that easily.  “I’m fine,” he repeated.  “You don’t have to worry about me anymore, Trick. You’re a married man now.  Worry about someone who loves you.”

The look on Patrick’s face softened.  “I thought I was,” he said quietly.  There was a pause.  “Has that changed?”

Pete looked away; he couldn’t stand to see the hurt, bewildered look in Patrick’s eyes.  “No,” he finally managed to get out, nearly choking on the word.  Because it hadn’t.  That one fact had survived all the fights and silences between them, had hung on stubbornly through all the pain.

Hearing hesitating steps come even closer, Pete felt Patrick’s hand on his arm.  “Pete…please…”

_End this,_ Pete decided.  _He deserves a clean break, especially with Elisa waiting for him.  End it now. Let him go._   Grasping the hand on his arm, Pete pulled him into a secluded corner away from the dance floor.  “No…I want you to listen to me for a second.” He took a deep breath, gathered together his scattered thoughts and jumped right in.  “You are my band mate and my best friend and my brother in all but blood. But that’s it, Trick.  That’s all you can be. That’s all _we_ can be.”  His fingers found Patrick’s, tangling them together and the cool hardness of the other man’s wedding ring pushed him to go on.  “Anything else…we tried and we almost strangled each other. The fighting…it bled over into every other part of our lives.  It almost blew the band apart. It ended up wrecking my marriage and I won’t let it wreck yours.”  He glanced over Patrick’s shoulder; Elisa was standing at the other end of the room, laughing at something one of the bridesmaids was saying.  “Not when you love her as much as you do.”

“Things have changed,” Patrick said, his voice still quiet.  “We both have.”

“This hasn’t.”   Pete’s voice softened as well.  “We’re not good for each other that way, Trick. We never really were. You know that as well as I do.” He watched Patrick’s face as his expression slowly changed from hurt and pleading to acceptance. “I came too close to losing you completely to all this and I can’t, Trick. I just can’t.  I need you in my life.”

“I don’t want to lose you, either.” Patrick clutched at the fingers holding his. “The past year…when we weren’t speaking…” He swallowed and shook his head, closing his eyes.  “I don’t ever want to go through that again.”

“Neither do I,” Pete confessed.  “Us being friends…I’d rather have that more than anything.”

Patrick opened his eyes, shining with unshed tears.  “Pete…what I said…I never meant…”

“I know,” Pete said, not letting him finish.  “I never meant any of it, either. I’m sorry for all of it. And I missed you, too.  So fucking much.”  He took another deep, shuddering breath.  “But this…us…it’s gotta be this way. For everybody’s sake…not just ours.”  He gave Patrick’s fingers a squeeze.  “I just…I want you to be happy.”

A single tear slid down Patrick’s cheek.  “You deserve to be happy, too.”

“And I am,” Pete said, even though he could feel his heart breaking as he said the words.  “I’ve got Bronx and my family and you guys.  And who knows what’s gonna happen down the line.”  He paused. “And knowing you are…that you found Elisa and she loves you…that means everything to me.  That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Slowly, he forced himself to let go of Patrick’s hand.  “You should go.  She’s probably looking for you right about now.”

But Patrick didn’t go.  Instead, he threw his arms around Pete’s neck and hugged him as hard as he could.  “I love you.”

Pete slid his arms around Patrick‘s waist, breathing in the scent of him. Never again. He’d never be this close to him again.  “I love you, too.” He pressed his lips against Patrick’s forehead, giving him one last kiss before drawing away completely. “Go on.”

Patrick turned and stepped away, about to head back to Elisa when he stopped and turned back.  To Pete’s surprise, he cupped the bassist’s face in his hands and gave him the briefest brush of a kiss.  He drew away just as quickly and headed back across the dance floor without another word, wiping away the tears streaking his cheeks as he went.

All Pete could do was watch him go.

He sagged against the bar, his eyes locked onto Patrick as the singer slid his arms around Elisa’s waist and embraced her, kissing her cheek as he did so. He watched him smile, then laugh at something she said.  And he felt his heart break all over again as he took his wife’s hand and led her back onto the dance floor.

Letting out a long, shuddering sigh, Pete turned his back toward them both and picked up yet another glass of champagne.  He was just about to down it in one gulp when he felt a hand on his shoulder.  “Hey, man,” Joe said.  “Was wondering where you were.”

“Just been here,” Pete said, forcing himself to take a sip instead.  The champagne really was too good to be thrown back like cheap whiskey.  “Communing with the champagne.”

Joe gave him a knowing look as he picked up a glass as well.  “You look like you ought to be communing with the tequila instead,” he said as he took a long sip.  He gave Pete’s shoulder a squeeze.  “You did a good thing, you know.”

A part of Pete was annoyed at Joe for him witnessing such a private moment, but a larger part of him was not only too heartsick but getting too drunk to care.  “Then why does it hurt so fucking much?” he asked as he drained one glass and picked up another.

Joe did the same.  “That’s how you know you did a good thing.”

Pete thought about that for a long moment before turning his head enough to see Patrick and Elisa gliding across the dance floor.  _Not mine. Not anymore.  Were you ever really, deep down?_    Whatever the answer was, Pete didn’t think he wanted to know.

Band mates, best friends, brothers. _That’s enough,_ Pete thought to himself as he straightened and put the still full champagne glass carefully back on the bar. _For my sake and for his…that’s enough._   “Come on, Joe,” he said as he loosened his bow tie.  “Let’s go find Andy and a bottle or two of that tequila.”


End file.
